Wally-World Revelations

Walmart receipt that will ensure that I'll be the next American put on a government watch list:
Prescription drugs, an issue of "Shotgun News," and Bluebell Pecan Pralines N' Cream. That's right: drugs, weapons, and sugar.

Burning Question Answered:
Who buys Lindsay Lohan calendars? Preteen girls? Adolescent boys? Creepy old men?
Answer: Early thirties guys dressed all in black with straight, shoulder-length hair.

Note to Self: Never put a canvas tote-bag in the dryer. Unless you actually prefer it to be half its current size.