Leaving Home

Oh, the emotional investment in the place in which you live. This afternoon, I looked at the key my mother-in-law had made for me to use while we live in their upstairs addition for the next eight months, while we're building The New House. The key is blue with yellow happy faces all over it, in a cheesy fake-hippie style that makes me laugh, and she said she picked it so that when it gets hard living there, not in our own home, I can look at it and know she loves me. So very, very sweet.

I immediately, with my blogger-and-photographer hat on, thought I ought to take a photo to post here. And half a second later, got a sick feeling in my gut, realizing that I couldn't take a photo my house-key, the key to our Old House that we left for the last time this morning at 2am, because it was on the counter in that house we no longer own. Or more likely, by this point, it's on someone else's keyring. It made me want to cry, then and there, but I cried so much last night/this morning that I'm in the brush-it-off stage. After all, I've got tons of homework to do, all of it due this Friday.

But let us have a small moment of mourning for the passing of this age, the age of Our Very First Home together, the house in which our marriage survived four flooring projects, a 30' by 40' building project, thirteen fireworks parties, and innumerable amounts of painting. The house in which we kind of grew up together, dreamed together, and even planned The New House together. The house in which we spent 6 and a half out of over 7 years together, the house in which we did not raise any children--a house they will never know. Truly the end of an era.

Eesh, I don't even know how or where to end this post. Looking forward to the next house? Still more reminiscing about the old one? Talk about the past three days of moving and the pain and the tired and the wonderful family help? Obsessing about the last week of homework? Looking forward to summer? Gratefulness for a place to live while simultaneously mourning the loss of space and privacy?

Hmm, yes, total and utter confusion of emotions, I think that about sums it up.

P.S. Have lots of old-house photos to get up later. Probably will be a post-homework project, so look for them in May.

P.P.S. Bonus points for anyone who noticed that the label of this post is also the title of a Garrison Keillor book. There is a reason you and I are friends. (And now I know that an appropriate gift for you is a NPR mug.)

1 comment:

Tigpan said...

Thanks Starr, as if I had not cried enough lately. I am not sitting at my desk at work with tears flowing down my face. Congratulations on new beginnings!